Friday, April 27, 2012


I'm joining in with Five Minute Friday and writing about community.  Five Minute Friday is when we write and not worry about it being right.


Three years ago I could have never imagined what this community would mean to me.  The community of loss bloggers.  Mothers who have all experienced some kind of loss.  Miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal loss.  Loss of a baby.  I never thought I would be a part of this community.  But just two and a half years ago I joined in.  This is not a community I joined by choice, but I am so glad I found the community of women who write about their loss.  Share their loss and help carry the burdens of others in this community.

These women are AMAZING, loving, creative women who are strong beyond what they think, more generous then they know and more inspiring than they mean to be I'm sure.

This community of loss mothers (also known as Baby Loss Mamas) have surrounded me during and after my first loss, my second loss and my failed adoption.  These women have prayed for me, sent me cards and a few of us have even met in person.

Angie Smith and a few of the loss bloggers and friends of Sufficient Grace Ministries in April 2011.

This community is not one that any one really wants to join, but I am so glad these women were here.  They have meant so much to me in the past two and a half years!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Only I

Only I know what today was one year ago...

  One year ago was Jakin's due date.  April 21st. 

Only I remember dates like this.  Due dates, diagnosis days, gender reveal days, the days we found out we were pregnant, burial days...

I don't always bring it up, but our littlest of babies has been heavy on my heart lately and I just needed to "say" his name. 

Remembering my little Jakin today and always...

Friday, April 20, 2012

InstaFriday 4.20.12

Linking up once again with InstaFriday at Life Rearranged!

life rearranged

Last Friday night was family night and we pulled out our "couch-bed" as Ethan calls it and made popcorn.

Saturday morning, we attended our first ever storage auction.  You know, when units are not paid for in three months they have a big auction to clear out those units.  They open the door, give you 5 minutes to look around (without going in) then start the bidding.  Ben has been in the auction game for years now, but this was our first storage auction.  Yes, we bought a unit.  The best find was probably some of the furniture in our unit.  The worst find was a dead mouse (iickkkk!!!) and the saddest was someones baby book.  It was interesting to say the least and now we wait and see if we can make any money on our unit!

We stopped at an awesome little hole in the wall restaurant I used to eat at as a kid and has some great calzones.

We then took Ethan to the historical Stearns Coal and Timber Co. Railroad station.

We learned a lot about coal and railroads and an area not very far from where we live.  The train ride and exploring the abandoned coal mining town took about three hours and it was so much fun.

Ben, being the fisherman that he is, knew some beautiful areas we could go for a picnic supper.  This was our view for supper...

Of course, the boys had to get a little fishing in too.

We drove a little closer to home and had to stop at one more place to fish and take a few family pics with my actual camera.

Later in the weekend, I had to get ready for a speaking engagement I had scheduled for the week about the Christian's response to child abuse and neglect.  April is child abuse prevention month if you didn't know.

Ethan had a dental cleaning on Monday. He loves going to the dentist and he did great!

Ben gave blood this week.  I'm really proud of this guy, he gives blood every time they allow him to.

I got this lovely gift from the ladies I spoke to regarding child abuse prevention.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Truely Treasured Winner!

To choose a winner for the Truely Treasured Wallet, I numbered the comments then used to pick the winning number.  The winner was #10...Holly at Caring for Carleigh!

Holly, I will be emailing you with details on how to get your wallet!


Saturday, April 14, 2012

Good Day

I can honestly say we had an awesome family day today. We did lots of family things and spent the WHOLE day together. That is awesome in my book.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Insta Friday

This is my first time to participate in InstaFriday at Life Rearranged and first time posting from my iPod with the app! Wow, exciting, right?

life rearranged

So here is a summary of the week from the view of my instagtram app in all their grainy glory.

Enjoying our Good Friday walk, Ethan and I found this lovely toadstool.
We made Resurrection Rolls on Saturday Morning.

He was so surprised to see them empty and he can now tell the crusifiction, burial and resurrection stories.

We made our own Resurrection Eggs.

This little booger scarred me....

We took Jakin and Shyla their Easter Baskets.

Ethan and I cuddled up and watched the Prince of Egypt under this quilt.  The quilt was my dad's, but it was made by my aunt out of my great-grandmother's dresses.  It was the quilt my dad used while he was sick and Ethan told me it "smelled like Pa".
Ethan and his cousin hunted eggs at my brother in laws house on Saturday.

Saturday night we did an egg hunt at home with glow in the dark eggs and then told the resurrection story  with  what was inside.
Then we made glow stick art...I know this one is sideways!

Sunday, we met with a few of my cousins and the cousins kids hunted eggs together.  Ethan finished finding his limit quickly, so he was "helping" his cousin.

Ethan and his prizes from egg hunting.
His tow mater teeth were in an egg from his Nana.

We should have lots of these little beauties turning red soon!  Can't wait!

I got three Francis Chan books for free for my Kin.dle this week.  I  have wanted to read this one for a while, so I was really excited.

Ok, so there it was, a brief overview of our week through the eyes of my instagram app.

I hope you are all doing well and hop on over to my other blog and enter the giveaway for a lovely gift from Day.Spring!

Five Minute Friday: Good-Bye

I'm linking up today with Gypsy Mama and Five Minute Friday on the topic of "Good-Bye".  Five Minute Friday is for writing for five minutes without worrying if it is right...just write.  Be sure to link up and link back to Gypsy Mama and encourage another linker before you.



I've gotten really good at saying good-bye over the past few years.  My husband and I were just talking about this very fact the other night.  Ethan will be turning 5 years old in May (Oh My Goodness!!!) and during his life we have had to say a lot of Good-Byes.  

The first good-bye was when my sister (well, technically, half-sister) passed away just two days after learning we were pregnant with Ethan.

Then, just four short weeks after Ethan's birth, my Grandfather had a very sudden stroke and passed away just a few days later on 7-7-07, just 7 days from his 77th birthday.  I will admit, this was the hardest good-bye I had said up until this point in my life.

Then September 2, 2009 was the day our 2nd child and only daughter was born quietly.  We said good-bye to Shyla Joy before she was born.  It would take lots longer than 5 minutes to describe this good-bye.

Just 14 months after that, in November of 2010, our third child, Jakin, developed a heart condition and passed away just days before Thanksgiving.  Again, nothing I have ever experienced before is harder than saying good-bye to your baby, no matter how tiny they are.

2011 was a easier year as far as good-byes.  The only thing we said good-bye to was the idea of having any more biological children.

Now, just a few months into 2012, we have said good-bye to my uncle and my father within a week of each other.  

Then we said good-bye to one of the sweetest baby faces I have ever seen as we placed him back in his birth mother's arms after six days.

I guess the good thing about all of these good-bye's is that they are not permanent.  As Ethan said when we released balloons at Shyla's graveside service, "See you later!!!" five minutes are up!  

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Redeemed {& a Giveaway!}

I love that I have been given the opportunity to review products by Dayspring and their new "Redeemed" collection.  I love Dayspring and I love the brightly colored products in this collection.

When my box arrive of products I was selected to review, I excitedly tore into it and found some beautiful things and this verse:

“In all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose.”

Romans 8:28

Redeemed Gift Bag
   To be honest, this is not the top scripture I have wanted to read since the beginning of 2012.  To be honest, I sometimes have a hard time seeing how God can work us bringing Samuel home just to give him back for "good".  To be completely honest, I can't see how seeing my father suffering and dying from lung cancer can be worked for "good".  BUT, that is exactly why I need God's redeeming love.  It is exactly why I need to repeatedly read this verse.  The verse doesn't say, "In all things God works for the good of those who love Him and they will get to see the good."  The verse does say, "In all things GOD WORKS for the good of those who love Him..." 

God working for our good doesn't always mean we will see the good. 

Was God working the day Samuel was born.  Yes. 

Was God working during my father's illness?  Most definitely. 

Is God working now, in the aftershock of grief?  Absolutely. 

I know He was working the day Samuel was born due to the miracle that took place and how close he came to not making it here safely.  I know He was working during my father's illness because I prayed with my dad and I have heard stories of him actually leading prayers with others.  That in itself is amazing.   I know God is working now because he has surrounded us with loving, caring people who will pray with us and for us and support us with their love and prayers.

So, I guess you could say, this verse is now one that I lean on regularly.  No matter what, God is working.  Whether I can see the good or not, God is working.

In All Things.

(Who knew all this would come from a product review?!)

One of the things I was sent for review was the Found Tea Cup.  I love this!  It may actually end up being a gift to remind a dear friend of mine that He is Working...

The I Am Found Mug.  I. love. this. mug.



I love the little reminder of love in the bottom of the mug.  I think I feel a coffee craving coming on...

I was also sent the Love One Another Memofolio and the gift bag to review.  I love this little notepad and sticky notes.  I am a compulsive list-maker so these lovely stickies made me smile too.

Redeemed - Love One Another - Memofolio
Redeemed - Love One Another - Memofolio
Redeemed - In All Things - Medium Gift Bag with tissue
All of these products were not only beautiful and well-made, their message is meaningful and so important.  You are loved.  You are redeemed.  God IS working.  I absolutely love this whole collection! 
But wait!
I have one more little goodie to show off...
This lovely wallet is part of the Redeemed Collection, and I just love it so much! 
Redeemed - Truly Treasured - Wallet
Redeemed - Truly Treasured - Wallet
Redeemed - Truly Treasured - Wallet
One truly treasured reader will be winning this Truly Treasured Wallet!  The giveaway will be open until Midnight, Tuesday, April 17, 2012 and the winner will be chosen at random. 
To enter the giveaway, just leave a comment below telling me how you have seen God Work in your life in the midst of a hard time.  That's it!  Just share how God worked to redeem a situation or how you felt him working.  Think hard, it may not be something obvious!
Now, for no extra entries (just to be nice and give others the opportunity to win!) share this giveaway with someone you treasure.  Send an email to a friend or some one who has allowed God to work through them to redeem the hard times. 
(I was sent these products from Dayspring in return for a review, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.)