First, we would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers as we have began this journey once again. God never left our side.
We arrived at the hospital around 8:30 yesterday morning and after the admit process and paperwork, the medication began. I got an IV of fluids and Dr. C came in, talked with us and gave me the first round of Cytotek to soften the cervix and begin dialation. He said I would get this medication every 4 hours until delivery and warned it could take up to 5 doses.
We began the wait and contractions slowly began sometime before noon. I got the second dose of Cytotek at 1:30. Contractions began getting stronger and longer, so the nurse called the anestesiologist to prepare him for my epideral when the time was right. After talking to him, my nurse informed me that I could not have an epideral. The Lovenox I was on to prevent clots is known to create them if an epideral occurs with 48 hours of the last dose. The risk of a clot in the spinal column leading to paralyzation was too high, so they agreed that when I asked for it, I could have pain meds through the IV.
By this time the contractions were getting really strong and I couldn't really speak through them. I could only get comfortable on my side, so thats how I stayed. Jakin is my third child, but this is the first time I have been in full labor.
Very suddenly, close to 5:00pm I started feeling strong pressure and we called the nurse. Honestly, I knew it was time, but I was scared. I knew once I pushed, it would all be over and we would begin saying our final good-byes. When the nurse got into the room, I think I was yelling...I don't know what I was saying, but it was probably begging her to help me. I was scared.
She quickly got her gloved on and checked me and the bag of waters had desended, but not burst, which is what they wanted to see. She called Dr. C and told him to come quick. She had bareley gotten offf the phone when I felt the extreme urge to push.
At 5:05, Jakin Isaac was born. 8.4 ounces and 9 inches long.
But, I couldn't see him or hold him yet. The nurse called the Dr. back and let him know and to come on over. I had to wait on the Dr to come, break the bag of waters and cut the cord. The placenta had not passed yet.
When Dr. Cunningham walked in the door, he got right to work and soon they had wrapped Jakin in a blanket and laid him on my chest. He had the most perfect little ears, and fingers and toes. The shape of his fingernails reminded me of Ethan (I know it must sound crazy, but it's true). We took photos and he stayed in the room with us until the funeral home came to pick him up at around 8:30.
After he was born, there was still the risk that I might have to have a D&C if the placenta didn't pass on its own. So we waited and waited. Finally, sometime after 7:00, Dr. C came in and got it out non-surgically.
The funeral director and another lady from the funeral home came sometime after 8. They talked with us, and of course said how much they were not expecting to see us in this situation again. I really appreciate them and how sensative and gentle they have been.
After we talked, we knew it was time to say good-bye. Ben brought him to me one more time and I looked at him and said goodbye on this side of Heaven. Ben carried him to the funeral home director who had a bag marked "fragile". Inside this bag was the little casket we have seen before. They gently placed him inside and we watched as they closed the lid. This moment was probably the hardest one moment about this day.
When they left, I finally got to eat a few bites of food and drink, but after not eating anything for 24 hours and what had just happened, I suddenly didn't have much of an appetite.
The nurse graciously moved us to a different room with a more comfy bed and better internet access and by 10:00 we were settled in for the night.
It's now Thursday morning and I expect to be discharged in the next few hours.
I'm tired. No, that's probably an understatement. I'm beyond tired. But I survived and now we must take the next steps to finish the funeral arrangements and get through the next few days. I know God was with us. He never left our side. He was there, crying with us and holding us tight.
To all of you who have messaged, commented, and been praying for us...Thank you for letting God use you to minister to us. You just don't know how much it means.