Sunday, March 21, 2010

So it begins...

*Disclaimer* Please know my heart is healing, but this blog is my place to write, process and get my feelings out.  Please don't try to "fix" me.  I just need to write these things.  Grief is messy and painful, but I know God can heal all wounds.

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One year ago, I felt sick.  My allergies always go nuts this time of year.  It was Saturday, March 21 and I wanted to take some sinus/allergy meds.  But, as always, being a little paranoid of taking anything if there is ever the slightest chance I may be pregnant...

I took a test.

I saw the test line.

Then a little faint pink line beside that one.

Oh my.  Could this really be?  I told my husband and we cried and told each other that this could not be right.  But we were so excited.  And a little surprised. 

I had just been accepted to graduate school.  Would I go?  When would I be due?  How would Ethan handle being a big brother?  How would we share our amazing news?

I took another test.

Another very faint line.

It was Saturday, I decided against the meds and thought I would just put my feet up and go to the Dr. on Monday.

We were so excited and so blessed.

I skipped the allergy meds that night.

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Fast Forward to today.

I'm sick again.  What timing huh?  I woke up to my head pounding and a sore throat and so stuffy I could barely breathe.  Maybe I should test again.  No. 

I'm sad today. 

I know this post seems scattered, but I am sick, sad, and a little medicated tonight.

I took my meds tonight.

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One more thing.  My heart is heavy for Stephanie.  She celebrated her daughter, Amelia, yesterday.  Go over and give her a hug and a prayer.

5 comments:

Franchesca Cox said...

(((hugs))) and hope you get to feeling better!

Karen said...

I hope you get to feeling better soon....

klarsen said...

Hugs, Mattie, and lots of love. xxx

Heather said...

(((Hugging you tight)))

Heather

Holly said...

I hope that you feel better.

Sending you a hug