Monday, December 13, 2010

Beauty Will Rise

So, how does everyone like the new look?  A big thanks to Franchesca at Small Bird Design for redesigning this blog for me.  And a special thanks to my good friend Tammy for the photography you see included in the design.  Tammy has walked with us through some hard times and some beautiful ones.  She took our wedding photos actually.  She was also there when Shyla was born and her first birthday as well as Jakin's funeral.  I am blessed to call these two ladies friends!

I had first called this blog "Creative Joy" because that was the meaning of Shyla's name and I knew I would be looking for ways to creatively bring Joy back into our family.  Now that Jakin is in Heaven with Shyla, I needed to do something different in this space.  This is no longer just about me missing Shyla and finding ways to remember her.  This blog is now about how a family of five survives when two of its members are in Heaven.  Its about how my family is going to navigate this temporary home with our hearts halfway to our permanent home.  This blog will also help me keep family and friends updated on what is going on in our family.  I can't say that we will never have anymore children.  As a matter of fact, I feel very strongly that our family is not complete.  But how and when God chooses to bless us and grow our family is a big fat question mark.  Until then, this blog will chronicle our journey and how God is allowing Beautiy to Rise from these ashes of grief and brokeness. 

Part of this journey is living life with our son Ethan.  If you have been following this blog for long, you know I don't keep quiet the fact we have a living child.  While many loss parents choose not to blog about their kids on earth, I find I must.  To not mention him, for me, is to ignore part of my grieving and the blessing he is.  I know if I did not have him, my grief journey would look much different.  This is just my choice, others need to choose what is right for them.  I hope my mentioning of him does not hurt anyone and I understand if you choose not to follow my blog because of it, and thats ok.  We each have to do what we need to so we can navigate this life. 

Now the name of this blog will be "Beauty Will Rise".  One of the reasons is that I fully believe that from everything we have been through in the past 15 months that something beautiful will come.  Lives will be or have been touched and changed by God through the lives of my babies.  Beauty Will Rise.  The song, "Beauty Will Rise" by Steven Curtis Chapman has been a favorite of mine since I first heard it.  He wrote the song after his daughter, Maria, went to Heaven.  Below are the words.  I hope they bless your heart the way they do mine.

Beauty Will RiseBy Steven Curtis Chapman

It was the day the world went wrong

I screamed til my voice was gone
And watched through the tears as everything
came crashing down
Slowly panic turns to pain
As we awake to what remains
and sift through the ashes that are left
behind

But buried deep beneath
All our broken dreams
we have this hope:

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
For we know, joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning, beauty will rise

So take another breath for now,
and let the tears come washing down,
and if you can't believe I will believe
for you.

Cuz I have seen
the signs of spring!
Just watch and see:

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
For we know, joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning...

I can hear it in the distance
and it's not too far away.
It's the music and the laughter
of a wedding and a feast.
I can almost feel the hand of God
reaching for my face
to wipe the tears away, and say,
"It's time to make everything new."

"Make it all new"

This is our hope.
This is the promise.
This is our hope.
This is the promise.
That it would take our breath away
to see the beauty that's been made
out of the ashes...
out of the ashes...
That it would take our breath away
to see the beauty that He's made
out of the ashes...
out of the ashes...

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of this darkness... new life will shine
and we'll know the joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning...beauty will rise!

Oh, Beauty will rise
Oh, Beauty will rise
Oh, oh, oh, Beauty will rise
Oh, oh, oh, Beauty will rise
Oh, oh, oh, Beauty will rise

12 comments:

Lisette said...

I love the new look. The name Beauty will rise is perfect because I like you really do believe that.
((HUGS))

mrsnice777 said...

I love that song! The design is beautiful!!

Jamie

Radiant Readhead said...

beautiful new design, beautiful new name!

rebecca said...

I love the new look and the name! You are such an inspiring, strong woman. Hoping you continue to feel the love and support of many surrounding your family as you walk this road.

Melissa said...

So beautiful Mattie, I am in tears. I know that we have only met just recently before you lost Jakin, but in such a short time your blog has really touched my hear for sure and I'm sure many others. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I cannot tell you how much joy the idea about Shyla's stocking has brought to me this first Christmas without Mikayla. It is one of the only things that is getting me through. The stories are starting to come in now, and I am just so excited to read them on Christmas day. Beauty will, and already has, risen from your beautiful babies that only graced us here on earth for a short time. I love how you talk about your family being separated by the veil of heaven...I feel like that a lot too. Peace to you Mattie

Heidi said...

Gorgeous Mattie...not because of the site change, but because you are offering so much to others in the face of such pain and sadness.

Thinking of you always. I look at my tree this Christmas and see the ornament you sent me last year in the wake of my very near grief.

klarsen said...

I love that song as well. Really love the fact that though its roots are in sadness, it is positive and hopeful, upbeat. I love the new look, Mattie. You are an amazing woman. xoxo

Melani said...

I love it, very nice!!!

Elainna said...

Mattie love the new look and name. The song is also perfect. Thank you for sharing yourself on this blog. You are an inspiration to many.

Lori said...

It really is beautiful and already is rising for so many. I've just finally gotten to where I can listen to more than one or two songs on that CD--they are so poignant and so relatable for me...and still hurt...but are SO full of hope, I am just drawn to them now.

One glad morning, Mattie....one glad morning....
xoxoxo

Holly said...

Your new design is lovely and I think the new name is very fitting!! I love that song by SCC.

shineliketheSon said...

YOur blog is BEAUTIFUL! The name takes my breath away. What you've gone through, I cannot imagine. For you to have heart that Beauty will rise through Him is awe inspiring. I will pray for your heart and your sweet babies tonight. Peace in Him.