Sunday, December 5, 2010

Jakin's Service

One week ago today, we were blessed to give Jakin a service and celebrate his life  Almost eighty people came to recognize his life and so many more were with us in spirit.  I made it through the day easier than I thought.  Saturday was really rough and Sunday morning I felt pretty sick, but by the time 1:00 came around, I was feeling better and had emotionally prepared myself for what the afternoon held.

A very good friend traveled a long distance to be with us and take photos for us.

Once again, my husband and I stood beside that small white casket and greeted friends and family as they walked that aisle and with tears in their eyes hugged us and said they were sorry for our loss.  Some couldn't say anything.  Some said they wished they could take our pain.  Others prayed with us and told us they were proud of us and how we were handling this.

I held in my hand a little blue blankie and rubbed, twisted and played with it until it was warm.

Ethan played and ran up and down the aisle until too many people were there for him to do so.  That might have been bad...but its what he needed to do that day, so we let him.

What a beautiful, precious gift this little boy is.

Jakin's obituary and eulogy was read.  My favorite part was, "He was loved, wanted and cherished all the days of his life".

Then a sermon was given.  Our Pastor spoke from Psalm 139 and about how Jakin (and all of us) are beautifully and wonderfully made.  I have seen our pastor get so emotional he could not speak two times in my life and today was the second.  Shyla's funeral was the first.

After the service, our friends and family left us to have a few moments alone before we went to the cemetary.  Just as everyone was leaving the chapel, Ethan began bawling.  I mean heartwrenching cries.  When I finally got him calmed down enough to talk, he said it was because he wanted to go with his uncle.  He thought everyone was leaving.

As a family, we carried the small casket to that long black car and settled it into the back.  Snuggly placing little bumpers around it to keep it from moving.  It looked so small in the back of that vehicle that has carried so many to their earthly resting place.

We got in our vehicle and began the long drive to the cemetary.  Other cars turned on their lights, slowed down and stopped as we passed.  I noticed some people staring and wondered if they saw our age and wondered why we were the first in the procession behind the police car and hearse.  They probably thought one of us were burying a parent...I bet it didn't cross the minds of many that we were burying our baby.  Much less that it was our second time doing so.

When we got to the cemetary, again, as a family, we carried the small casket together.

Our pastors prayed and said a few more words about his precious life.

We played the song, Better is One Day and Ethan released blue balloons.  He has released balloons before and I think the symbolism really helps his mind process things.  I asked him if he wanted to do it for Jakin and he did, so we did it for him.

 As the balloons drifted up into the sky, a few got stuck in the tree.  Ethan ran after them and wanted to climb the tree to help them float away.  As we spoke to everyone again and thanked them for coming, the balloons slipped away and my beautiful friend got some beautiful photos of Ethan, our strong little man.


Antoinette said...

my heart is with you as always...Jakin had a beautiful service.....xoxoxo

butterflymom said...

What a beautiful day to celebrate a beautiful life...((hugs to you always))

Heather said...

What a beautiful memorial to Jakin. I'm so glad you have these precious photos.

Allison (Ali) said...

my thoughts and prayers are with you as you travel this road again.

it was a beautiful service and a wonderful way to remember Jakin.

Sarita Boyette said...

What a lovely memorial - I'm so sorry, though, that you have had to go through it twice. God bless all of you, and you are still in my prayers.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

It looks like it was a beautiful memorial service for your little Jakin. The pictures were taken with so much feeling for the service. I love the three of you carrying the casket and the balloon release was beautiful.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. May God give you comfort.

mrsnice777 said...

Oh, I was brought to tears over this post. I'm so sorry for your loss again! No one should ever have to go through this once, let alone twice.


brigette said...

The service looks beautiful. Im so sorry you are going through this again. Much love!!

Tiffany said...

what a beautiful way to remember your Jakin. i'm so sorry for your loss. there is just nothing right or fair about losing a baby, let alone twice. my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Elainna said...

What a beautiful service and way to celebrate beautiful Jakin. Praying for your family and keeping them in my thoughts.

Lisette said...

You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Jakin's service looked beautiful but I know that was no easy thing to go through again.
God bless you Mattie and your family ((HUGS)).

Heather said...


Thank you for inviting us in to such a vulnerable let us be a part of Jakin's service.
The photos are precious, and the description all too familiar.

My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Your precious Ethan is too sweet for words.

Heather (GOL member)

Megan said...

It was a beautiful service sweety... and I love that you, like me, let the little ones play and run in all of their wonderful childish innocence! :)
Praying for you!
Megan @ A story unfolfing

Lori said...

Oh Mattie...I saw this post when you wrote it on my Google Reader and I just couldn't bring myself to read it. It was the anniversary of Matthew's funeral and I was just having a hard day and couldn't bear one more thing.

I am so sorry I didn't read it and comment when you posted. It's our calling to bear one another's burdens even when our own hearts are breaking and you are such a picture of that grace and eloquence. I'm so touched by your faith.

You have been so heavily on my heart and in my prayers for weeks...and your sweet Shyla and precious Jakin continue to touch lives and stand as beautiful testimonies every day.

Holly said...

My heart is just heavy for you. My eyes just brimmed with tears reading about Jakin's service. I can only imagine it was beautiful.

Melissa said...

Thanks for sharing your beautiful pictures!