Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Just pausing.



Just pausing today to remember our rainbow.  One year ago today, we learned of his presence in our lives and that we would be adding to our family.  Today begins the emotional rollercoaster of the next 19 weeks including "anniversaries" (I really don't like that word, but can't think of another one that really fits) of Shyla's death, birth and burial as well as her EDD 2 years ago.  Also in the next 19 weeks, it will be one year from Jakin's first appointment when no heartbeat could be found and being told I would miscarry, the follow up appointment that proved he was a strong baby and was measuring 2 days ahead, his diagnosis, and his death.  All these days of pausing to remember happen between now and Thanksgiving.

Of course, many other things are happening in our lives right now and will happen between now and Thanksgiving.  Ethan starts homeschooling next week, I've kind of organized a local group of homeschoolers to start meeting, I have another speaking engagement scheduled for September, (hopefully) many Tupperware parties, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is in October, we have a few more fundraisers on the books and are praying our file gets sent to Korea before Thanksgiving.

But today, I pause to remember Jakin and his life and the excitement that surrounded it.

And hopefully, I will laugh, because if you didn't know, that is what his name means, "God will establish Laughter".

Thanks for thinking of us over the next few months as we pass all the "One year ago..." and "two years ago..."

12 comments:

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Sending you love as you pause and prayers for the days ahead.

brigette said...

Dates are really hard.. im so sorry!! !I will be praying for you this month and next during the extra hard times.

crystal theresa said...

Pausing with you, for you, and for your babies. Love and prayers for peace, laughter, and the quiet joy that comes with remembering.

Ashley said...

Thinking of you today and the days to come. Love you all!

mrsnice777 said...

Angelversaries are so very hard. Thinking of you and yours!

((hugz))
Jamie

ccc said...

The dates and anniversary remembrances are very emotionally draining. I will be thinking of you these next few months. Maybe the busyness of the school year will help. We homeschool too--good luck on your first year! I love homeschooling and I bet you will too.

Amanda said...

Many prayers and many hugs as you go through these weeks...they are the tough ones, but I hope you are finding some peace just knowing you are able to get through them!

Elainna said...

Thinking of you and your babies today and during the upcoming weeks!

Tim and Carissa Wix said...

Saying lots of prayers for you and your family!!! All my love!

Jill said...

XOXO

Holly said...

I will most definitely be keeping you close in thought and prayer, Mattie. Much love to you ♥ and to your babies ♥♥

Keri Kitchen said...

I've been thinking a lot about those anniversary dates... in the "new normal," everything is bittersweet.