Friday, January 14, 2011

It's Official!

Today was our first "official" day of the adoption process!

But I think I should back up and talk about some things that have happened over the past couple of weeks.

The first couple days of the year, Ben and I really prayed and focused on this.  On the first Wednesday of the year we joined together with our church for communion and prayer.  Earlier this day I had met with a wonderful woman I know locally who is in the process of international adoption and we talked for a long time...specifically about South Korea.  I started to get this feeling, like nervousness and excitement mixed together.  While we were at church, our pastor spoke this scripture and I heard it in a way I never had before:

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.'
Isaiah 43:5

I squeezed Ben's hand and we both looked at each other. 

After church we went to Sub.way and ate dinner, talking about if we were on the right track here.  Almost not believing all of it at the same time.  Then, on the radio came this song I have never heard before.  I generally don't listen to anything but contemporary christian radio, so I was not familiar with the song, but I remembered the lyrics (because they touched my heart so) and looked up the song later.  It's called "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Bubl.e.  I know it's not a song about adoption...but I just really liked it.  Here are some of the lyrics...

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get

I just haven't met you yet
I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

So, yeah, I was fighting tears in the middle of Sub.way. This was happening.  We are going to do it. 

I called the agency I learned about and they sent us an info packet.  I quickly reviewed the info and filled out the application...just in case we liked them after we interviewed them...and we scheduled a meeting for today.
In preparation for today's meeting, I waded through some of the tons of info on the internet yesterday and by the end of the day I was kind of discouraged.  I couldn't sleep well last night and after a while of tossing and turning decided to read some blogs of successful adoption until I thought I could sleep.  After a while I was feeling a little better and prayed a little and finally went to sleep.

I was more hopeful this morning and prayed that if we were going in the right direction with the adoption plans that God would give us a sign.  I asked that sometime between our home and the agency (about an hour and a half away) we would hear something about adoption on the radio.  I know I really shouldn't ask for signs...but I did...AND He delivered!  About half way through our trip there was a news story about adoption!  My faith was being renewed...again!

We arrived at the agency early and started to look over some things and talk more.  We actually almost didn't go in.  But, I am SO glad we did.  We went in with the intentions of just talking and learning more about the specific services this agency has to offer as a home study agency and left with pretty much ALL of our questions answered and ended up talking in the vehicle for about ten minutes then walking our application and fee back up the steps to officially begin the process!  She emailed me the home study checklist and told me to be expecting a call from the worker who will be doing our home study in the next couple of days!

She told us that based on current wait times and our preferences, she would estimate that we would be bringing our baby girl home from South Korea in approximately 12 months!!!  If we get started on our paperwork ASAP, they are estimating a referral in as short as 6 months. 

I've already started some fundraising and we are now on our way.  I hope you don't mind me sharing our family story here.  Honestly, I just don't know if I have the energy to separate all the pieces of my life into different blogs.  So if you found me because of my loss, I will still be writing about our grief and grief journey, but I will also be documenting our adoption journey.  If baby talk is too hard, I understand if you chose to no longer follow me, or comment less, but I encourage you to hang around and walk this path with us!


Lynn said...

Oh, that is wonderful news, Mattie! I really hope everything moves very smoothly for you during the entire process. Good luck, sweetie!

Melani said...

Oh I'm SO excited for you guys!!! I have another babyloss momma friend who is almost done with their adoption's been so exciting to follow their journey and look forward to following yours too! You will be in my prayers!

Monica said...

I have goosebumps!! I do believe God gives signs at times, like he did with the fleecing that Gideon did. I'm so excited for you guys!!!

amiracle4us said...

That song has been on my ipod for quite sometime due to it making me think of the baby I will have but don't know yet :) I am so happy the signs pointed you towards adoption and that you are so excited about it. I can't wait to see how the story unfolds...

rebecca said...

Congratulations, this is fantastic news!!! I'm so incredibly happy for you guys as you begin this journey!!!

SLM said...

I just started reading your blog...I'm not even sure how I got linked up to it. My husband and I lost a singleton in 2004 and triplets in 2005, so there are definitely parts of your story that resonate with me.

In 2007 we adopted twins from Vietnam. International Adoption is near and dear to my heart and I am looking forward to watching your journey of both healing and adoption. I have walked in your shoes, and will be here to support you if you need it!

May God richly bless you during this time!

Jen said...

that is wonderful! what a big step.. and I too only have the 1 blog, loss, grief and foster/adoption.. I didn't seem to lose any readers :) congrats again.what an exciting post!

Sarita Boyette said...

I'm thrilled for you! What an amazing story you will have to tell to your daughter, about the song, the adoption story on the radio, etc. God seems like He is laying out this plan for you and it's happening so quickly. This is just a beautiful story!

Jocelyn said...

Mattie, I am so thrilled for the three of you! God is doing amazing things in your lives and we are so blessed to watch your journey with Him unfold. I know that your little girl is going to be SO SPECIAL and that she will be the perfect fit for your family. Her adoption testimony will be one that warms so many hearts! Someday Ryan and I hope to bring home a little boy from somewhere overseas and we shall pick your brains. :)

Lisette said...

I am so happy for you guys. I wish you nothing but the best. I will continue my prayers for your family. You have an amazing heart! ((HUGS))

BTW, I LOVE LOVE that song!

Danae said...

We are adopting from Korea too! What agency are you using? The agency we are looking at gave us the same time frame for the referral, but told us it would be 8-12 months after we receive our referral that we would get to bring our baby home.

If you don't want to tell it on your blog, could you e-mail me what info you have at ? I would love to compare info!

Megan said...

Praying for you!!!!

What a wonderful, selfless journey you are embarking on!!! :D

Holly said...

I would love to follow in this path with you! I'll be sticking around! I'm very excited for you and to follow your journey. Some day we may also adopt!