Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The Lion and the Lamb

We got the call on Christmas Eve that Jakin's stone had been set.  We had ordered his stone just 5 days after he was born, the day after his service because we really wanted it up by Christmas and I'm so glad we did.  I remember sitting in that small building looking through all the possible designs and nothing really "feeling" right.  Then I remembered what I have said to other mothers when this feeling of indesiciveness creeps in over things involving their babies.  None of this will feel right.  It's not natural to be picking out designs for a headstone when you should be picking out nursery decor.  I said a prayer and told myself that nothing will feel "perfect" and we just needed to pick something and get out of there.  That little building was getting all too familiar.  So we picked a lion and a lamb for the front.



Later, when I was thinking about it. It's as close to perfect as we were gonna get.  He was so tiny and gentle, just like a lamb but he was so brave and his heart was so strong to beat so fast for so long.  He was our little lion heart. 

On the back, we put the scripture that we used at his funeral. 

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Psalm 73:26

Above the scripture we chose to put an image of a heart within a heart.  I love the E.E. Cummings poem that ends with, "I carry your heart with me.  I carry it in my heart."  And now I carry his heart with me.  And his heart was so special.  So I do love the heart within a heart.


We decided to put little hand prints on the footstone.  Everytime we had an ultrasound (except for the first) we saw his little hands.  His hands were so perfect.  I wanted to remember that.


He is buried next to his sister.


I'm so glad we took these on Christmas Eve because when we went Christmas morning, this is what we saw...

13 comments:

Megan said...

That is so beautiful that they got to be buried side by side.

They will always have each other.

The headstone choices were perfect. I know how hard it is to pick out something so permanent. Yet it has to be so very special.

My husband drew our Savannah's.
All my love to you

Melissa said...

It's heartbreaking to see those two stones side by side, but I am so glad you were able to do that. Of course, they are together forever in eternity, but what a nice place for you to go to pay tribute to them. I love that scripture quote. Mikayla's stone is set to arrive any day here and we are hoping to have it put in soon. We've been waiting awhile because it had to be special ordered. You are right, though, nothing will ever seem quite perfect enough for the children we got the chance to do so little for.

Jessica said...

Mattie, *huge hugs* I love the scripture that you picked out. Its perfect.

I love the stockings!

Elainna said...

I was happy to see they were buried next to each other. Yet, It breaks my heart you buried not one but two children. {{Hugs}}. Everything about Jakin's headstone is perfect. Shyla and Jakin are safely together awaiting your arrival. More {{Hugs}}!

Angie said...

It looks perfect.

Melani said...

I love it Mattie! I do believe it IS perfect! The lamb and lion remind me of one of our chuch hymns that just so happens to remind me of being reunited with our Evan..."How blessed the day when the lamb and the lion shall lie down together without any ire." That is the day we will all be reunited with our babies...such a nice thought! I love the foot stone too...and the heart within the heart. I think you did a perfect job at picking it all out.

Antoinette said...

<3 so beautiful...and so precious that he is close to his sister...i love the stocking idea!!!! I think alyssa would have liked one as well...((hugs))

mrsnice777 said...

I love the lion and the lamb pic.

Again, so sorry for your losses!
((hugz))
Jamie

AHB said...

Just beautiful..I hear you on not knowing how to pick the right design for the stone..nothing seems perfect enough for your child..I just picked what was good enough..It breaks my heart that you have two children buried next to each other, but on the other hand it is so beautiful that they have each other..Hugs..

Andrea said...

I think it is absolutely perfect, just perfect. I think our subconscious has this wonderful way of helping us out when our minds just aren't functioning 100%. I love the symbolism with the lion and lamb and love the scripture that you chose. Love and hugs XO

Caroline said...

I love the scripture. So glad they are right next to each other. The stockings are beautiful but yet so sad. I'm so sorry for your losses but even though it's hard , one day we will see our children again in Heaven forever.
{{HUGS}}

Sarita Boyette said...

Mattie, it is so sad - those two beautiful headstones side by side - again, I am so sorry. Praying for you and sending hugs.

Holly said...

I do love what you decided for his headstone. You're right that nothing will be perfect. Perfect would be having them here.