We got the call on Christmas Eve that Jakin's stone had been set. We had ordered his stone just 5 days after he was born, the day after his service because we really wanted it up by Christmas and I'm so glad we did. I remember sitting in that small building looking through all the possible designs and nothing really "feeling" right. Then I remembered what I have said to other mothers when this feeling of indesiciveness creeps in over things involving their babies. None of this will feel right. It's not natural to be picking out designs for a headstone when you should be picking out nursery decor. I said a prayer and told myself that nothing will feel "perfect" and we just needed to pick something and get out of there. That little building was getting all too familiar. So we picked a lion and a lamb for the front.
Later, when I was thinking about it. It's as close to perfect as we were gonna get. He was so tiny and gentle, just like a lamb but he was so brave and his heart was so strong to beat so fast for so long. He was our little lion heart.
On the back, we put the scripture that we used at his funeral.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
Above the scripture we chose to put an image of a heart within a heart. I love the E.E. Cummings poem that ends with, "I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart." And now I carry his heart with me. And his heart was so special. So I do love the heart within a heart.
We decided to put little hand prints on the footstone. Everytime we had an ultrasound (except for the first) we saw his little hands. His hands were so perfect. I wanted to remember that.
He is buried next to his sister.
I'm so glad we took these on Christmas Eve because when we went Christmas morning, this is what we saw...