Queen of (our) Hearts

Thanks for sharing this great site Franchesca and Beth!  You can make any name (6 characters or less) on candy hearts!

I love it!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love Always

We had a few friends over yesterday for a Fondue and Photographs party to celebrate Valentine's Day. 

 What could be more fun?

Did I mention one of my best friends is an amazing photographer?

And she completely knows what touches my heart.

And so does he.

Six years ago yesterday I met him.  Both college students.  Both single.  Both decorating for a sweetheart banquet at a church to raise money for missions. 
He has been on my mind everyday since.  I love him more than words can ever say.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

This scripture is always a favorite to read at weddings, but to break it down...Ben always protects me, he always trusts in me and in God, he always has hope for the future (even when I waiver) and Ben always perserveres.  I think I know the true meaning of this scripture now more than ever.

Always.

What a strong word. 

But after all, he is a strong man.

I love you Ben.  Happy Valentine's Day.

Always,

Your Bride

Kick Off!

The March of Dimes Kick Off was Thursday and I had the chance to share Shyla's story.  Three pages of notes...ignored.  I got up there infront of all the team captains and everything just came out.  I guess I have replayed everything in my mind so much the story kind of flows out now.  I didn't even break down.  A few small tears.  I'm sure those in the crowd shed more than a few by watching their faces.

I must have done well though.

I have been invited to speak at the Regional Hospital.  To share her story again. 

How blessed I am to speak her name and blessed to be her mommy.
I'm really excited to be a part of this organization.  If you aren't familiar with the March of Dimes or the March for Babies, check it out here.  To start a team for the March for Babies, go here.

Also, check out my sidebar to help raise money for the March of Dimes. 

Beautiful Blogger Award

I've been nominated for the the Beautiful Blogger Award!  Thank you Leda!  Leda and I met on a board over at Babycenter.com for parents who were due November 2009, but experienced a loss.  This board has been such a wonderful outlet for me, especially during the month of Novmeber, when we were all facing our unmet due dates.

The instructions that go along with this award are as follows:

* Thank the person who nominated you for this award.

* Copy the award and place it in your blog.

* Link the person who nominated you for this award.

* Tell us 7 interesting things about you.

* Nominate 7 bloggers.

* Post the links to the 7 bloggers you nominate.


Here are 7 not so interesting things about me!

1. I have a little tattoo of a lady bug on my ankle.  I got it the summer between my freshman and sophmore year of college with my roomie.  We were both serving on a summer mission team and went together to get a tattoo on a weekend off.  The tattoo artist probably thought we were both nuts.  We giggled the entire time.  Hers giggles were nerves I think, mine were because my feet are terribly ticklish and he had to touch them to get the right angle on my ankle.
2.  I don't actually remember naming my son, Ethan.  That is the only part that is a blur from when he was born.
3.  It would be an absolute dream of mine to be a stay-at-home mom and homeschool my kids.
4.  I am perfectly content staying at home.  All. The. Time.  When we got a lot of snow last weekend.  I got home on Thursday and did not leave my property until the following Tuesday...if we hadn't needed milk, it might have been longer...
5.  I passed my LSW exam in December and now am "officially" a card carrying licensed social worker!
6.  I have recently discovered my love for sewing and fabric crafts!  I could sit at my sewing machine for hours!
7.  I have not had cable or satelite since I left my college dorm 6 years ago and am really ok with it.  There is just so much junk on.  If I could just get a couple channels and leave it at that, I would, as long as one of them was HGTV ;-)

OK, now I get to nominate 7 other bloggers.  I know this award has been floating around for a little while, so I'm not sure who has already gotten it, so here goes!

Kara

Shaina

Kelli

Franchesca

Katy

Lisette

Karen

Five Months Later

I can talk about her without tears gushing from my eyes.
I can look through her things and not always cry.
I can think about the course of events and not hate myself so much (most of the time).
I can contemplate future children without the fear being as strong.  It's still there, but not as crippling as it once was.
I can visit the cemetary and know SHE is not there.  It is just a symbol and it's ok not to go there ever day or even every week.
I can control my frustration, anger and hurt when people forget to mention her, don't ask about her or wrinkle their brow when I do.
I can remember my pregnancy with fondness.  The sadness is not gone, and I don't think it ever will be, but I can remember some of the precious things and smile.

There are lots of things I can do Five Months Later.

There are also lots of things I can't.

I choose to focus on the the cans right now.  The can'ts are still too overwhelming at times.  But here I am, Five Months after saying goodbye to my darling daughter.  I'm still here.  I'm still breathing, still living.  The more time passes the further I feel from her.  But the odd paradox is with each day that passes, I am actually getting closer to her.  Closer to the day that I will hold my sweet baby girl again.  I can't even begin to imagine what that day will be like. 

Five Months. 

And I'm still here.

Snow Days

About six inches of snow fell this weekend here.  It is so beautiful.  I just had to go out and take a few pictures and play with Ethan.  I just knew I had to do this too...

It may be a little hard to see, but it is Shyla's name in the snow with a pink gerbera daisy.

And of course, we had to take a few of these too...

And I just HAD to get one of Ben riding his bike in the snow with Ethan in tow.

There is more snow in the forecast, so we may get another chance to write names in the snow.  If you want a name written in the snow, let me know and if the opportunity presents itself, I would be more than happy to do so.  I think with a little photo editing, it would be a little easier to read.