Five Minute Friday: Listen

In college, I took a few counseling courses and many, many, many, social work courses (that is what my degree is in after all).  I recall my very first 

Source

counseling professor handing us the image to the right and explaining to us the power of the act of listening.

The Chinese character for listening includes you, an ear, your eyes, a symbol for king, implying you should treat everyone like a king with your undivided attention, and your heart.

This has never left my memory. As a social worker, when I listen, it is important that I do much more than just hear the words the client is saying.  I must listen to them.  With my eyes. Watching for any non-verbal clues.  My undivided attention must be given to the client speaking to me.  Good eye contact, reflecting non-verbal clues such as nodding and restating what has been said.  I must also listen to my heart, and for me, that means listening to what God says about this particular person or situation.

 

How much truer is this to me as a parent?  When my child speaks to me, am I really listening?  With my ears, eyes, heart, and undivided attention?  I know it is impossible to do this to every single word my child might say...especially if he is a big talker.  Like talked all 45 minutes on the way home from church last Sunday, big talker.  And I reallllly know it is even harder to listen to everything your child might say when you have more than one aching for your attention to see the latest art creation, hear the latest tale of chivalry, or change their wet diaper.  For the third time. In fifteen minutes.

 

But those moments when we really can put away distractions of to-do lists, those electronic rectangles that fill our lives, and our own motivations and really, really listen to something our child says usually ends up being their favorite part of their whole day.  It's true.  Ethan has told me that on multiple occasions. Every night we ask him what his favorite part of the day was.  Almost every night his answer involves a moment of the day where Ben or I have been down on his level and listening, in the full meaning of the word.

 

(This post was inspired by the prompt featured at Five Minute Friday encouraging us to write for five minutes then stop, resist the urge to edit, and share.)

 

 

Five Minute Friday: Story

I'm linking up with Lisa Jo Baker and Five Minute Friday.  Lisa encourages us with a prompt and the directive to write for five minutes and five minutes only.  No editing, no worrying, no research.  Just write! 

Today's prompt:  Story

Our family story began almost 7 years ago.  No, that's not true, it began long before that.  My husband and I began our story together long before we ever met.  God was writing our family story since each of us was born.

Or I could go back even further.  Our parents story gave birth to our own, and their parents before them. 

Our stories are not only our own, but a page in the book of our ancestors and our descendants.  

I want my great-great-grandchildren to look back at my families chapter in our generational book at see our story so intertwined with God's word that they know we were a family that could let go and allow the great author to pen our days.

I so often want to grab hold and write my own story only to find God's story is so much better.  The ending will be so much sweeter and journey (although not problem free) more full of joy and sacred tears than if I scribbled it out myself.

At the end of my story, I want others to see who the author was.  I want it to be clear and show boldly of His love and creativity.

Five Minute Friday: Good-Bye

I'm linking up today with Gypsy Mama and Five Minute Friday on the topic of "Good-Bye".  Five Minute Friday is for writing for five minutes without worrying if it is right...just write.  Be sure to link up and link back to Gypsy Mama and encourage another linker before you.

GO!

Good-Bye

I've gotten really good at saying good-bye over the past few years.  My husband and I were just talking about this very fact the other night.  Ethan will be turning 5 years old in May (Oh My Goodness!!!) and during his life we have had to say a lot of Good-Byes.  

The first good-bye was when my sister (well, technically, half-sister) passed away just two days after learning we were pregnant with Ethan.

Then, just four short weeks after Ethan's birth, my Grandfather had a very sudden stroke and passed away just a few days later on 7-7-07, just 7 days from his 77th birthday.  I will admit, this was the hardest good-bye I had said up until this point in my life.

Then September 2, 2009 was the day our 2nd child and only daughter was born quietly.  We said good-bye to Shyla Joy before she was born.  It would take lots longer than 5 minutes to describe this good-bye.

Just 14 months after that, in November of 2010, our third child, Jakin, developed a heart condition and passed away just days before Thanksgiving.  Again, nothing I have ever experienced before is harder than saying good-bye to your baby, no matter how tiny they are.

2011 was a easier year as far as good-byes.  The only thing we said good-bye to was the idea of having any more biological children.

Now, just a few months into 2012, we have said good-bye to my uncle and my father within a week of each other.  

Then we said good-bye to one of the sweetest baby faces I have ever seen as we placed him back in his birth mother's arms after six days.

I guess the good thing about all of these good-bye's is that they are not permanent.  As Ethan said when we released balloons at Shyla's graveside service, "See you later!!!"

Well...my five minutes are up!  

Five Minute Friday: Remember

I'm participating in Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday.  The rules are simple...

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

GO!

The topic of "remember"  is an easy one to write about right now.  Last night, I had the honor of speaking at the 3rd annual Hold Life Precious Banquet.  The banquet is the largest fundraising event the crisis pregnancy center which I am a co-director holds. I remember meeting a little less than 3 years ago and talking about the Center getting started.  As a school social worker, it was going to be a great resource for the teens that I worked with.  

I remember laughing with the ladies who started the center that it was interesting we were having lunch and talking about unplanned pregnancies...I had just found out I was pregnant with my second child just after I had gotten accepted into the advanced standing graduate school to get my MSW.

I remember, just a few months later, I donated all the little girly things we had gotten for our daughter, just a week after her death.  I remember the odd combination of emotions leaving my daughters things for others to use...at the same time, the amazing gratitude that the Center was there for us to pass these items along to families in need.

I remember two years ago, speaking at the first ever Hold Life Precious Banquet and telling Shyla's story.  Keeping her memory alive.

I remember last year, being about 16 weeks pregnant with Jakin and rubbing my tummy as the praise band sang and I began to feel his little kicks.

I remember how God worked all his miracles and blessings in disguise in order to open the door to allow me to be a part of this ministry.  

And lastnight, I got to share these memories with our guests and donors and watch God move on behalf of those in need of His love.  

I always want to remember how God works things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose.

Grateful.

I'm linking up with Gypsy Mama and 5 Minute Friday.

Want to take five minutes with me and just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. Here’s how we do it:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my right side bar}

3. Go and tell the person who linked up before you what their words meant to you. Every writer longs to feel heard.

Today's promt...

Grateful.

GO!

I have so many things to be grateful for.  A little boy in particular that helps life my spirits anytime, anywhere.

I'm grateful his daddy is teaching him manly things...like how to hold his fish and what a "leverman" (Leather.man) is for.

I'm grateful for birthday parties and cousins and kiddie pools.

And grateful for being that mom that lets him have too much sugar on special occasions.

I'm so grateful that my big boy will still fall asleep on his mommy's lap.

Even in the middle of the lake.

And VERY grateful for swimmies and for bravery I've never seen in a four year old delicately balanced with a respect for the water.

I'm grateful for this yellow two seat kayak that has taken Ben and I from dates the first summer we were together to riding our first born in it.

And grateful we both have days off work when we can enjoy it together and for a husband that knows where to go to avoid the holiday traffic :)

 I and I am so very grateful for little signs.  I am so grateful for seeing so many dragonflies this summer.

I am so very thankful for summer and all the beauty that makes it what it is.

STOP.

Five Minute Friday

Motherhood should come with...





Five Minute Friday. Where we throw caution (editing, revising, and worrying) to the winds and just write. Without wondering if it’s just right or not.  For five minutes flat. The rules are easy.

1. Write your heart out for five minutes and show us what you’ve got.
2. Tell your readers you’re linking up here and invite them to play along.
3. And most importantly, go visit, read, and encourage the fellow five-minuter who linked up right before you.
{Pretty please turn off word verification for the day to make this easier!}

Today's topic...Motherhood should come with a...

GO!

Motherhood should come with warning labels.  Enter at your own risk.

Warning: You will feel love like you have never felt before. Pain you can't imagine.  And your heart will no longer be your own but partially be with the child you carried.  On heaven or earth.

Warning:  You will get unsolicited advice on how to care for, grieve, or raise your child.  Take it all for what it is and turn to the Lord for direction.

Warning:  As much as you say you are ready and as confident as you are, you will doubt, fear and worry that you aren't doing the right thing.

Warning:  God will use your child to turn your heart to Him more than ever.  Be prepared. 

Warning:  You will find out that you are braver than you think, stronger than you think and wiser than you think...

Warning:  You will fall more in love with your husband than ever before.

Yes, motherhood should come with many warnings, but I think they are totally worth it.  God gave me my children.  All of them.  The one I have in my arms, the two I have in my heart and the one I will hold someday born from another mother.

STOP.
Ok, now it is your turn.  Go over to Gypsy Mama, write 5 minutes regarding this prompt and link back up at her site!

If You Met Me...

It's that time again!  Five Minute Friday with Gypsy Mama!  Just read the rules then hop over and link up to be entered into her giveaway!






Here's the rules:

Got five minutes? Let’s write. Let’s write in shades of real and true and unscripted.

Let’s just write and not worry if it’s just right or not.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Go leave some comment props for the five minuter who linked up before you.

Today's prompt:

If you met me...



GO!

If you met me today, you would probably notice a few things about me.  You might notice the wrinkles beside my eyes make me look a little older than what I am.  I am pretty sure you would see that I am not some one who spends much time infront of a mirror getting ready in the morning...and hopefully it wouldn't take you long to realize that is because I would rather be cuddling with my little boy or catching up with a friend. 
 
If you met me, you would probably hear me mention my babies.  All my babies.  The one in my arms, the two in Heaven and the one on the other side of the world.  You would probably learn more about Korean adoption than you were planning on learning for the day. I hope you would feel a new passion for reaching out to orphans after our conversation.

If you met me, I would hope that you feel that you are being heard and know I care about you and want to learn who you are and what your passions are. If you met me, be prepared to answer some questions...I can't help it...I'm a social worker!

If you met me...more than anything...I hope you would leave our meeting knowing that God loves you.  I hope that you would know I am a Christian and that if you need anything, you could call me.  And if I couldn't physically help you myself, I would find a way to meet your needs as best I could.

In summary, if you met me, I hope you would feel one thing:  Love.

STOP!

Now...go link up!

A Few of my Favorite Things...

I'm linking up with Five Minute Fridays...here are the rules:

1. Write for only five minutes. Don’t edit. Don’t over think. Don’t stifle your creativity.

2. Link back to the Gypsy Mama and invite others to join in.
3. Go leave some comment love for the five minuter who linked up before you.
It’s invigorating; give it a try and see.





Today's topic is "A few of my favorite things"

And...GO!

Some of my favorite things are the most ordinary things.  And some extraordinary.  A stained glass dragonfly, a smile from an almost three year old blondie, getting to bed at a decent hour, and seeing the dogwoods in bloom.  I find myself smiling more at the kindness of a stranger and an unexpected email from a friend.  Seeing 7 young people give their life to Christ at Sunday's church service and 135 more souls change their eternal address at a play on Tuesday night.  My favorite things make me smile (and sometimes cry) but that's ok.  These things are all Heaven sent and keep me chugging along when the skies are gray and the grief presses in.

Thank you, Lord, For my favorite things!

Stop.

I'm also linking up with Friday Favorite Things at Finding Joy!

Five Minute Friday- waking up

Five minute Friday topic:

waking up

I'm typing today's 5 minute Friday from my i.pod, so forgive the typos and brevity in advance :)

Today's topic is wakin up.

When we first lost Shyla, I was in a fog for a long time. Then, slowly, I began to wake up. I woke up to a life that I never imagined I would ever have. I woke up to all the things that can happen during pregnancy. But I also some up to the amazing support of women like me and for the resources these women provide. On the other hand, I also woke up to the terrible lack of resources for loss moms in hospitals and in real life.

Waking up to these reAlities made me want to do something about it.

That is all the time I have for this topic today!

To link up with 5 minute Fridays, check ou the button on the right sidebar.

On Waiting

I ran across this Five Minute Friday blog hop and I thought I would give it a try today.  I feel like I have had so much to say lately, but didn't have the words to say it.  So here goes.  Five minutes.  And the topic for this week is waiting...




The Gypsy Mama says:

This is the place where once a week we take the chance to just write, and not worry if it’s just right or not.


For five minutes flat.


Here’s how the game works: you simply stop, drop and write. Set your words free. Don’t edit them, don’t fret over them, don’t try to make them perfect.

This weeks topic...

On Waiting

This could not have been a better topic if I had chosen in myself!  Waiting seems to be a large part of our life right now.  April is just around the corner and I am waiting for Jakin's due date to roll around.  I'm trying to make plans to celebrate his life and the wait of the day is almost too much some times.  I can't believe I am looking at another due date with no baby.  Celebrating a short life instead of a happy birth.  Grief can be exhausting.

Another area of waiting has been in the adoption.  The theme of the past two weeks have been "hurry up and wait" and "just waiting on that email or phone call before I can...".  But we got great news!  The finances have worked out and I shared some other news on the adoption blog.  Funny thing.  I have written twice lately about waiting!  And still being this early in the process I am sure I will right more about the wait before we get to bring our little one home.

Waiting.  I guess the biggest thing is that I emphasis that waiting, all waiting, in pain and joy, is in Hope.  We wait in Hope with the Lord that he will supply ALL our needs according to HIS riches and glory.  Not ours. So again.  I will echo...

We wait in hope!