Christmas {Planning} in July!

Well, folks, Christmas will be here before you know it!  And one of my goals for this year is to shop early and another is to gift items that make a difference some how. 

(Christmas 2007)

How do I plan on doing this?  Through adoption fundraisers, helping families bring their little ones home.  Etsy shops that are ran by adoptive families.  Shops that promote social change and fight to end slavery or have a goal of helping mothers get on their feet. 

And here are a few options of where I might do my shopping or maybe some ideas of where you could do yours.

Shop to End Slavery has some great shops linked up for items from clothing to food and drink to housewares.  I personally love how they have sorted the shops by category and link to the individual shops.

Consider shopping from the Sparrow Fund.  It's their mission to help forever families be united and they also support artisans from other parts of the world.  Two blessings in one!

Check out Gifts with Humanity.  They have a wide variety of items produced in different areas of the world including America, Asia and Africa.

Shop from The Mercy House Kenya (shop is currently closed, but will be re-opening and restocked in August!)

Purchase clean water for a community who needs it.

Maybe check out the Compassion Catalog and purchase in honor of some one you love.  Their hearts will be warmed knowing you thought of them and that another life is being cared for.

Or maybe the Samaritan's Purse Catalog has something you wish to purchase in honor or in memory of some one on your gift list.

The World Vision Catalog also has some amazing ways to spend your Christmas budget.

Consider sponsoring a child through Compassion International or sponsor an orphan with ShowHope.
One other thing we plan on implementing in our family is the 4 gift rule…




This may be a little hard to get used to because we love to give gifts and training our child to focus on REAL gifts.  But this will make us much more intentional in our gift giving and still nurture certain family members love language.

Are you getting ready for Christmas yet?  How do you handle gift giving?

(Also, if you are a fundraising family, please leave a comment and I would love to include you in this post or future posts about intentional gifting!)

**Linking up!**

Merry Christmas! (and a Giveaway!)

Merry Christmas readers!!!

I have been pretty absent the past couple of weeks, but today I am co-hosting the last day of Tina's 25 Days of Giveaways!  Yay!  Since I know ya'll have tons of things to do and family to spend time with, I'll keep it short and sweet!

First off, I know that since today is Christmas, so I thought I would give away some gifts that would be good for the New Year.

Giveaway #1

My babies in Heaven have beautiful names.  Shyla Joy and Jakin Isaac.  The mean Creative Joy and God Will Establish Laughter.  So what better thing to give to one of you than this One Year of Joy and Laughter Devotional?  I seriously want to keep it for myself.  Joy and Laughter were both things that were (and sometimes still are) hard to come by after the loss of a child or children.

  
(source)

Giveaway #2

In the Company of Angels  
A Memorial book from www.pregnancyloss.info
This memorial book is basically a baby book for a loss mom.  It is beautifully done.  (And please still enter for this item if you have lost twins or more than one baby...I have two to give away!  My babies were not twins, but I feel the need to keep everything "even" just as if they were here.)


(source)

Giveaway #3

The third giveaway is a CD.  This CD has a selection of songs that have helped me through the loss of my two beautiful babies and many of the songs are included in the care packages that we take to the hospitals and have been used in memorial services around the country (I sent several of these CD's to October 15th event organizers last year).

TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAYS:

The giveaways will be open until 11:59pm December 27th and winners will be announced the next day.  I would like to also offer something special to everyone that enters, but it will be a surprise, so please leave the following info when commenting below:

*Which item(s) you would like to be entered for (just let me know if you would be happy winning any of the items or if you just want to be entered for a specific one or two).

*Your baby or babies names.

*Your email address.

*And if you would like please include something that has brought you joy or laughter since your loss.

Love and Hugs to all and I hope you all have had a Merry, Peaceful, Joyful Christmas.

Just Catching Up

My guest post for 12 Days of Christmas with you in Heaven posted today at Small Bird Studios.  I wrote out our Christmas Stocking Project and how much it has blessed us at Christmas time.  I think I will do this again this year...

Jakin's first birthday in Heaven (aka Thanksgiving Day) has come and gone and I haven't had a chance to post about it.  It was a hard day.  Much harder than Shyla's first was.  Maybe because on her first we had the hope for him...I'm not sure...but we did spend much time together as a family.  I cried when I needed to cry and we took him a balloon and visited the cemetery.  I also spent most of the morning making the Christmas saddles for their rocks.  Complete with white poinsettias (and a pink and blue one too!) glitter and a sparkling dragonfly each.

 It was a long day and honestly, I'm kind of glad it has passed. It is so much easier to look on the holidays with Joy after the hardest days have passed and I know that that day was the hardest.

We got our Christmas tree on Sunday and putting the ornaments on is always such a rush of memories.  This year was no different.  Each ornament was placed with love and a smile.  We have so many ornaments from Shyla's first Christmas in Heaven and a few from Jakin's last year as well.  Also adorning our tree are ornaments Ethan has picked out every year and a picture from the day he was born.  I now also have many of the ornaments from when I was a child.  It was a beautiful night decorating the tree (except when the beautiful live tree took a nose dive on me!)

Anyway, I'm still here and I plan on updating again soon.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and are preparing for a peaceful Christmas season.

Much love.

Christmas Celebrations

I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.
Ephesians 1:16


We opened gifts at our house Christmas Eve morning and we read through the random acts of kindness done in memory of Shyla and Jakin.  I will share those soon.  Here is Ethan with their stockings (and yes, there is not one single bow on any of the gifts under the tree...I decided to simplify this year!)

As I mentioned in my last post, they sat Jakin's stone on Christmas Eve, so we went to see it.  We went to the inlaws house Christmas Eve afternoon and then to my mom's house that night to see my brother, sis-in-law, and neice who had just gotten in from Oklahoma and my other brother who cam in from about 1 1/2 hours away.  While we were at my Mom's house it started snowing and icing and the roads got very, very slick, but after all the snow, we did get to have a white Christmas!

On Christmas morning, we waited to go anywhere until the roads had a chance to start to get a little safer.  But our road never gets cleaned off, so we just decided to brave it.  We went to my Mom's house to open gifts and see my family.  My dad got there shortly after us.  He comes every year and spends time with us at my Mom's house.  Some people may think thats odd, but it's just how we have done it pretty much since they got divorced when I was 5.

But before we could get there, we stopped at the cemetary.  There are two times I think that place has the potential to be beautiful...one is the week after Memorial day when almost all the stones have new, beautiful flowers, and the other is after a big snow.

I was having a quiet time, just looking at the snow and the stones and thinking about what I thought this Christmas was going to be like.  Then, these two started throwing snowballs...

(Yes, we are all in our jammies.  It's a Christmas tradition.  My mom always gets us jammies and we open them Christmas Eve and wear them that night and Christmas morning.)

They both helped me try to focus on that day and the blessings I have.

Lastly, I wanted to share the ornament we gave as a gift to our siblings and parents.

It is a glass heart with dried flowers in it from Jakin's service.  Last year we got everyone dragonfly ornaments in memory of Shyla, so this year we gave them this one in memory of Jakin.  I love it.

The Rest of the Advent Basket!

So, as Christmas got closer, I got really behind posting the advent gifts...but since I started it, I might as well finish it, right?  Here goes...

Day 13
Isaiah 65:24

Day 14
Proverbs 31:25-31

Day 15

Job 24:10

Day 16

Ephesians 5:1-2

Day 17

Ecclesiastes 8:15

Day 18

Matthew 25:21

Day 19

Revelation 21:5

Day 20

1 Peter 5:4

Day 21

1 Peter 1:24-25

Day 22

2 Corinthians 3:4-5

Day 23

Ezekial 24:36

Day 24

1 Corinthians 13:13



Day 25

Jeremiah 29:11-13

This last gift contained a card and revealed the identity of the gift-giver.   (I kinda already knew who it was...I know her handwriting!)  She said these gifts were special to her because I had given them to her during a transition time in her life and she wanted to give them back to me.  I love this girl and her family.  She has to be one of the sweetest women I know and I want to be like her.  If you are reading this, sweet woman of God, you are like a sister to me and I am so blessed to have you in my life!





On my Tree

I just wanted to share some of the beautiful new additions to our tree this year.

This first one is of the ornaments given to us by our funeral home.  The Joy ornament was actually from the remembrance service last year and has Shyla's name on the back (I love that it says JOY on the front!).  The other dove is from this year's remembrance service at the funeral home.  It has Jakin's name and birthday on the back.

These two were given to us by a friend of Ethan's.  A sweet almost 4 year old boy that Ethan loves to play with (and we love to hang out with his parents as well!). The heart for Jakin, the dragonfly for Shyla.

This one is not really new, but when I was unboxing ornaments, I found it.  I must have gotten it last year as a gift, but I cannot remember by who!  I love that I unexpectedly found it, still in the box and that there is a little heart on it...

After we saw Jakin's heart stop beating, we actually stopped a few places to try and find some clothes or a blankie for him at a craft store.  While we were there, I found this angel holding a tiny heart and I knew I had to get it for my heart baby.

These beautiful pewter ornaments are from Jill.  She was a secret pal from an exchange I was a part of.  They are beautiful!  I LOVE them so much!!!

This is Shyla's ornament for 2010.  I love the girly pink dragonfly!

While doing some Christmas shopping, we found this little crocheted lion.  That is something else that reminds me of Jakin.  Our little lion heart survived for so long with his heart beating so fast.

These beautiful block ornaments are from Bree and Sarita!  Aren't they just SO adorable?  Thank you ladies so much.  We really love them!

And lastly, this ornament from a dear friend I went to college with.  She and I were dorm neighbors for two years and she was the one that introduced me to the church where I met my hubby.  Eventhough we dont live close to each other, we still keep in touch (thank you face.book!).  It means so much when anyone includes ALL my children together!  I love this ornament!  It is SO special to see them all together!

Thank you all for blessing me and my family so much this season.  We really needed the extra love.

Holiday Bill of Rights

Below is the Holiday Bill of Rights for the Bereaved that I received from our funeral home at the Christmas remembrance service that was held a couple of weeks ago.  I just waned to share.  I hope you all are having a peaceful Christmas season. 

Holiday Bill of Rights For the Bereaved

1. You have a right to say TIME OUT! Anytime you need to. Time out to let up, blow a little steam, step away from the holidays, have a "huddle" and start over.

2. You have a right to TELL IT LIKE IT IS. When people ask, "How are you...?" you have the right to tell them how you really feel, not just what they want to hear. (You also have the right to smile and say you're fine because telling them how you feel isn't worth your time-some people will never understand anyway.)
3. You have the right to SOME BAH HUMBUG DAYS. You dont have to be "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" all the time. You are not a bad person just becuase you dont feel like singing Christmas carols all day.

4.  You have the right to DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.  There is no law that says you must always do holidays the same way.  You can do 10 cards unstead of 100- or no cards at all!  You can open presents at somebody else's house.  You can have pizza instead of turkey!  The list is endless...

5.  You have the right to BE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE.  Be at home or with the relatives.  Be in any city, any state you choose!  Nobody said you have to have snow during the holidays!  There is no law that says you must stay home!

6.  You have a right to SOME FUN!  When you have a day that isn't so bad and you feel like doing something just for fun, then do it!  Don't be afraid of what someone else will say if they see you laughing and having a good time.  Laughter is every bit as important as tears.

7.  You have the right to CHANGE DIRECTION MID-STREAM.  Holiday grief is unpredictable.  You may be all ready to go somewhere or do something and suddenly be overwhelmed.  When that happens, it's okay to change your mind.  There's plenty of time in life to be predictable.  Exercise your right to change when you need to.

8.  You have a right to DO THINGS AT DIFFERENT TIMES.  Go to religious services at a different time.  Open presents at a  different time.  Don't be chained to the holiday clock.

9.  You have the right to REST, PEACE, AND SOLITUDE.  You don' need to be busy all the time.  Take a nap whenever you need one.  Take time to meditate, to recharge your strength.

10.  You have the right to DO IT ALL DIFFERENTLY AGAIN NEXT YEAR.  Just because ou change things one year does not mean you have written it in stone.  Next year you can always change it back or do it a new way.

Advent Day 2

Ethan could hardly wait to open our Advent gift today...

Today's verse was Psalm 16:11

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with JOY in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Today's gift was...

Fitting that the first two gifts were a heart and the word joy...both things I relate to my babies.

I love this advent basket.  It motivates me to get into the Christmas spirit and search God's word more each day.  Psalm 16 is about the guarantee of life after life and that eternal things are most important.  Thank you, thank you, thank you to the "anonymous" friend and friends family who took the time to do this for us.  I think I know who you are...

Advent Basket

We went to my moms house today and she had a few things for us from family and friends.  One of them was a major surprise and an annonymous gift.

An Advent basket.

 

Inside this basket was a note:

And 25 gifts, one for each day from now until Christmas Day...

Each gift is numbered and a scripture is attached. 

Today's verse was 2 Corinthians 1:21-22

Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ.  He appointed us, set his seal of ownership on us and put his spirits in our hearts as a deposit guaranteeing what is to come.

Todays gift was:

We are really blessed to have so many wonderful, beautiful people sharing our life with us.

Breath of Heaven

A dear friend of mine emailed me the you.tube link to this song and I could hardly listen to it at the time.  We have had the radio on most of the day today and it just played again.  These words resonate to me more than ever.  I was chosen to carry my son.  I sometimes wonder if a wiser one should have taken my place.  I do offer all I am now, for the mercy of His plan and I am calling on the breath of Heaven to pour over me. 

Breath of Heaven

(Amy Grant)

I have traveled

Many moonless night

Cold and Weary

With a babe inside

And I wonder

What I've done

Holy Father

You have come

Chosen me now

To carry your son

I am waiting

in a silent prayer

I am frightened

by the load i bear
In a world as cold as stone

Must I walk this path alone

Be with me now

Be with me now

Breath of Heaven

Hold me together

Be forever near me

Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven

Lighten my darkness

Pour over me, your Holiness

For your holy

Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder

As you watch my face

If a wiser one, should of had my place

But I offer-all I am

For the mercy-of your plan

Help me be strong

Help me be

Help me

2nds for Shyla - 14 Months

It's November!  Can you believe it?  I really didn't anticipate this month being something that makes me sad, but I just can't help but remember this time last year was when she was due.  *If* she would have been born on or near her due date, she would be turning one this month.  I had resolved not to dwell on the *ifs*...but they just pop into my mind with out warning.

Becuase this is the beginning of the Holiday season, I wanted to share what we, as a family, will be doing in memory of Shyla this Christmas.  Last year, we did Shyla's Stocking and had it filled with wonderful random acts of kindness done in her memory.  It was so very beautiful to read all of these on Christmas morning!  This year, if anyone wants to do it again, they are more than welcome, but we are taking a little different approach.

This year, we will be collecting books about pregnancy and infant loss and grief and donating them to the local public library.  I am also planning on talking with a local funeral home about starting a resources lending library with them.  I know everyone is not like me, but when Shyla first went to Heaven, I was in desparate need to read, to connect and to know I was not alone in my grief or crazy for feeling the way that I did.  This blog and the blogs I read were and are an important part of the puzzle for me, but so were all the books I read and now have on my shelves.  I will also be making a recommended reading list to include in the care packages that are being delivered to the hospital.

I am only one person in one community...but one person can make a difference.  If you feel so lead to start a similar project in your area, please let me know.  I would love to see how many communities could be touched by just having these resources free to whoever needs them.

Much love to you all and tidings of comfort and joy your way this season!

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

So we made it through Christmas.  No, we didn't just make it, we were carried through.  God brought us much comfort and joy.  That's not to say that no tears were shed.  There were.  But just like when a baby is comforted by the love in it's mothers arms, we too were comforted by our Father's love.
These are just a few of the things people had given us and we had picked out to help remember our baby girl this Christmas.

                                                          

This is Shyla's ornament that we left on her stone.  Next year, we will hang this one on our tree and get her a new one.  I had a matching one with Mom on it on our tree at home.We left that pink tree there for her too.

We just loved this angel ornament with a pink dragonfly on it.  The picture really just does not give it justice.  It is really beautiful.

We gave these dragonfly ornaments to our family to put on their trees to remember Shyla.

This ornament was given to us by the funeral home that helped us with Shyla's service.  They held a remembrance service December 13. 

I participated in a secret Santa with other mom's that I met online who lost a baby due in November 2009.  This is one of the gifts from my "Santa".  Isn't it beautiful!  She also gave me a georgeous journal that I love!

This was a gift from a beautiful woman I am blessed enough to work with.  She painted this block as Christmas gift and I was so overwhelmed.  I'm afraid I could not adequately thank her for remembering my precious daughter.  It's rare for anyone to mention her, much less add her to our gift. 

These were made by my aunt.  Again, it meant so much just to have her remembered.

As the holidays approached, I really wasn't dreading them too badly.  Then, last Monday, my cousin's three month old baby tragically died unexpectedly.  The baby was the same age Shyla would have been and I was overcome with grief (I will have to write more about the revelation God gave me in this grief later).  So when Christmas Eve came, I just wanted to lay in bed.  Seriously.  I had been awake for a while, but didn't want to be.  I knew Ben was awake, but I didn't know what to say to him.  Ben must have noticed I was awake and simply said, "Merry Christmas Eve" and I broke down.  I cried so hard.  God was teaching me something.  For now, lets just say "lesson learned".  I will try not to question this pain anymore.  We went on with our plans for the day.  Christmas Eve lunch with my Mom, brothers, sis-in-law and 6 month old neice was the first thing on the agenda.  My older brother lives in Oklahoma City with his wife and daughter and my younger brother is away at college, so it was nice to have everybody together.  The last time we were all together was Shyla's funeral, so I can't say that didn't cross my mind.  We opened our traditional Christmas Eve gifts from Mom, new PJ's then it was off to the in-laws.
We made the hour and a half drive and had dinner and exchanged gifts with my husbands sister, brother-in-law, neice, brother, father and mother.  We had a good time and Ethan got lots of new toys and clothes.  He was so much fun to watch open gifts.  As he would tear into them he would say, "What is it Mommy?!?!?"  He was SO funny!  God has blessed me so much with him.  I don't know I would have gotten through without the love and excitement he had through Christmas.
We drove back home and stopped in at Mom's again to read the Christmas story from Luke and light our Christmas Eve candle.  Mom gave the kids some more gifts and then we went home.
Christmas Morning came and we read through all of the notes in Shyla's stocking.  You may remember we asked friends and family to help in filling her stocking by doing random acts of kindess.  This was such a beautiful way to begin our Christmas morning and I am so glad we did this.  We cried and laughed and had such joy in the kindess of others.  Thank you to everyone who helped to spread a little Joy in memory of our baby girl.

We woke up Ethan early and got started opening presents.  I got something really beautiful from Ben.  Keep reading to see what it was.  Ethan had so much fun!

We went to Mom's and my dad was already there.  My parents got divorced when I was about five, but he still comes every Christmas Morning to my Mom's house to be with us and now our kids.  We had sausage balls and muffins and breakfast cassarole.  We spent the afternoon playing our new Wii games with the family and then had Christmas night at my Grandma's house with my brothers, cousins, cousins kids, aunts and uncles.  There were about 23 of us I think.  8 kids from 6 months to 10 years old.  My brothers baby was the center of attention, and she should be, she was the youngest.  But Shyla should have been there.  That would have been her grand debut.  It hurt so much, not having her there.  I felt like everyone was a little afraid to speak to me.  I hope I didn't look as fragile as I felt.  I'm glad I made it through with relatively few moments where I had to compose myself.  It was hard, but I did smile and I was there, so I think I did good.

 Once, my neice was needing a nap and my Mom was trying to rock her, but there was just too much commotion in the living room.  I took her to the darkness of my Grandma's bedroom and I sang to her and rocked her and in moments she was fast asleep.  I took her back into the living room and sat in my Grandpa's recliner to rock her.  My Grandpa past away 2 1/2 years ago due to a massive stroke seven days before his seventy-seventh birthday.  I was really close to my Grandpa and the ache of his absence is still very strong, especially at Christmas.  So for me, this was a special moment.  Rocking my neice, this beautiful little girl, in my Grandpa's chair.  While she wasn't my daughter, I felt so close to Shyla in that moment.  Maybe my neice was dreaming about her or maybe God just was hugging me tight at that moment so I did not notice how empty my arms are.  Whatever the reason, that was just the most special part of the evening.  

Then, before my brother and his family left to go back to Oklahoma, I just had to get one more picture of the cousins together.

(Do you see the dragonfly they are playing with?  Cute, huh?)

I would post pictures of all of the sweet things my mother got me, but the post would go on forever.  The list includes a canvas print of one of the pictures I took of the flowers in Shyla's arangement.  It is beautiful.  She also got me th really neat dragonfly wall hanging and a frame.  As always, she got us all more than she should have, but she has such a giving spirit, she can't really help herself.

And while all of these gifts were great, Ben, my wonderful, caring, awesome husband got the most beautiful one.

Those are Shyla's footprints.

Like I said...BEAUTIFUL!